If you follow us on Facebook, you likely know that I am so blessed to have spent the past 42 years married to the most wonderful and beautiful person I know. We celebrated this feet on the day that welcomed December to the year 2021. Celebrating such a period of this many years, one can’t help but look back over the highs and lows of this journey, and reflect on the many things that we have done and that have impacted our lives.
As I reflect, I can’t help but wonder if I’ve been a good Christian husband and father. In fact, I wonder… have I been … simply … a good Christian man? So, I researched, as I always do, this message, and attempted to bounce myself up against what the Bible says about all three attributes of a good Christian man.
· Let’s reflect briefly on life. Born and raised in a God-fearing Christian home - ✔
· Educated and active in the church at a young age - ✔
· Pursued many activities that broadened my mind & physical capabilities - ✔
· Developed meaningful relationships & treated everyone with love, care, and compassion - ?
· Was fully committed to God/Christ in everything I did as a young adult - ?
· Stayed active in the Church through my young adult years - ?
· Met and married the perfect women to help grow me as a man and in my faith - ✔
· Raised my children in a God-Fearing Christian home - ?
· Led my family to be strong Christians who worshiped God and treated others with respect - ?
· Worked hard and always provided for my family - ✔
Well as you can see, in my own opinion and view of myself, I have only achieved 50% positives as a strong Christian man. I am disappointed but not defeated. Because this is life. This is what all men struggle with and what all men don’t ultimately realize, that they cannot totally control such activities and results. Men need. and absolutely must have. God in their lives. Men must be close to Him, and walk with Him, each and every day to have the power, will, and strength to counter the influences of this world and be true, and strong, Christian men.
So, what does the Bible say and by saying so, arm us with the knowledge and ability to seek God first, in our efforts to be the best Christian men we can become?
Here are just a few attributes with my additional comments:
What is the man’s role in a Christian marriage?
The scripture states that the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church. A good husband loves his wife unconditionally and is a servant leader just like Christ. On this I have mostly succeeded.
What is the duty of man according to the Bible?
The title of man is taken from Ecclesiastes 12:13, in the King James Version of the Bible: Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God, and keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man. On this I have mostly succeeded.
What does God require of man?
“He has shown you, O man, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God” (Micah 6:8). On this I have mostly succeeded.
What are a man's responsibilities to his wife?
Love Your Wife Unconditionally The foundation of any marriage is love and trust. These two qualities go together. Loving your wife unconditionally is one of the primary responsibilities of a husband. You must satisfy her emotionally by assuring her that you love, respect, and value her. On this I have mostly succeeded.
What is man in Christianity?
The Bible presents man in the proper context of the Creator/creature relationship. Man is created and sustained by God. Gen. 1:27, Acts 17:25,28. Man is a person and is therefore capable of making moral choices. On this I have mostly succeeded.
How should a man treat his wife according to the Bible?
1 Peter 3:7: "In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God's gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered." On this I have mostly succeeded.
What is a biblical husband?
A biblical husband is an active husband, expending much energy and thought over how to build up his wife. He's not primarily thinking about how or whether she is serving Him; he's focused on what He can do for her. A biblical husband is an initiating husband. On this I have mostly succeeded.
I am hoping that I have many more years to improve upon these results. But at least I can see that On these things, I have mostly succeeded. But “mostly” is not totally, because I have often believed, wrongly so, that I alone could manage and control these things. All too often, I tried going it alone, without God, which clearly shows me the error of my ways. Had I walked with God far more often, my results would have transformed from “mostly” to nearly always.
But I cannot forget, that even though I was not necessarily walking with God as much as I should have been, God saw this and was still there to guide me. These 42 years of bliss prove this point.
In 1977, I suddenly decided to quit college. No particular overwhelming reason, there were many factors, but I just frankly was tired of the education scene, and where it was taking me at that time in my life. About that same time, I ended, probably not as nicely as I should have, a four-year engagement to a sweet girl whom I really liked, but at that time we suddenly and oddly were no longer “clicking” in our relationship. I immediately started a career in management, at a fast-food company. Just a couple of months later I met another manager, from another store, who, at first, and then again via several ensuing meetings, really didn’t like me much.
You see, this manager had been told, wrongly so, by one of my employees, that our store could let her have some new employee uniforms, that we had in stock. So, this manager drove the 30 minutes across town to pick these uniforms up, only for me to tell her “No!” You see these uniforms were already planned for future manager trainees as our store trained all the new managers to the company. Obviously, this manager’s first meeting with me - her first impression of me, was not at all conducive to a long term “friend” relationship.
Fast forward about six months and I get promoted to General Manager (GM) of my first store that was totally mine to run. And who is the manager of this store – yes that same manager whom I refused to give the uniforms. Add to the tension the fact that I was promoted to GM to replace the former GM who was being terminated. And yes, you guessed it, this Manager would now not only be working for me, the man she had learned to dislike from our first meeting, but also that the GM who was being terminated, was a man this manager and all her fellow teammates dearly loved. Thus, making me “bad Guy” on steroids, and very definitely, I was initially greatly disliked. You can probably guess where this is going, because even though I did not know it then, this manager that had learned through various encounters, to loath and despise me, would eventually become my wife. All because I quit college, broke off a long engagement, and started a new, less than high profile job. This was the event that God orchestrated to bring us together.
Seems simple enough, but at the time of graduation, and upon entering college, I had several factors that could have steered me away from my eventual soul-mate. I was a four-sport athlete and an all-American football player, I had been nominated by our State Senator to serve in the U.S. Military Academies, and I was a top ten student, and a very good musician. Although this borders on boasting (trust me I am not), it should be clear that I am pointing out my life could have gone several different directions. Continue athletics, continue education, continue music, go to the Academies, any of which could have happened. But I went to college, with no real commitment, and ended up leaving, for some seemingly strange reason, to end up at a dead-end job that just coincidently led me to the women I would marry, the women who would save me, give me three incredible children, leading to eight grandchildren and one (so far) great grandchild, and most importantly bring me back---BIG TIME---to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ!!!
Coincidence…..I DON’T THINK SO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So, yes when I evaluate myself and my life, I have not been the best Christian, husband, nor father, and I have made many errors and mistakes along the way. All such missteps in my life, were because I THOUGHT I could manage things alone, without God. But God saw this flaw in me and He, like He does for everyone, knew I was worth saving. So, he steered me to the women who would do just that – help save me and bring me back to Him.
Today, thanks to God, and this heaven-sent angel, my wife, I am far closer to God and have certainly bettered myself and my walk of life. I went back to college and graduated Magna cum Laude. I have had a very successful career these past 32 years, and I truly look forward to and enjoy my walk with God, each and every day. Today when I look back, instead of saying On these things, I have mostly succeeded…I can clearly and honestly state: “On these things, I nearly always succeeded!!!” But now I know I can say these things because of God, not myself, and the love, faith, and commitment of a good women, sent from God and sent by God. This does not mean that I won’t have more missteps, because I know I will. But this time around, I know that God goes with me, still loves me, and through Him I will come back strong from every future mistake that I will surely make.
42 Years of Bliss – YOU BETCHA – and all thanks to God!!!
Epilog: If you are struggling in your role as a good Christian man, leader, husband or father…I have the following links to information which I feel can help you. Not everyone is blessed like I have been, but God does in fact love everyone like He loves me. Often times, God does the same things for all of us, that He did for me, we just sometimes don’t see it or realize it at the time these events occur. Thus, I hoping some things at these links will help you in your walk as a true Christian man:
Want to be a Godly husband? Renown Pastor Tony Evans has a short video series offering practical tips for growing as a husband, as well as several thoughts and messages. Here is a snippet of his helpful information:
When I applied for a marriage license a year after I graduated from college, all I had to do was pay a fee. There was no training, no video and no job description. In spite of the fact that I lacked many of the fundamental skills to make a marriage work, the license was granted. I know there are many men today who try to figure out exactly what God expects of them as husbands. So, I came up with a list of the things I believe are central to being a godly husband.
You can subscribe to his video series or just review his tips at this link: http://tonyevans.org/tony-evans-christian-marriage/